There was a time when guys hunted for girls. Who would have thought, there’ll be a day when the fair sex will have to go hunting for a suitable match and find nothing close to someone they want as their life partner………… that too, in a country with a skewed population of males. In a country, where during birth itself, more than half the girl-child population is murdered. Where, in any school or college, the population of boys to girls is close to 70:30 ratio.
Well Yes, I know most of my male friends would frown at me for writing this as this will directly hurt their ego and they’ll start asking: “ Aisi kaunsi hoor ki pari hai tu, ki tujhe tere type ka ladka nai mil raha?” or “jyada padha diya ladkiyon ko saala, inhein aajkal koi pasand hi nai aata.”
But the issue is, in a patriarchal society we live in, where guys boast of giving equal preference to their and their partners preferences, only few guys are open to the idea of equal space and opportunities for their ‘would be’ life partners. This you realize very strongly, when you’ve not found ‘a suitable boy’ till your so called marriageable age ( which again has been fixed by these male members, mind it!) and say a ‘yes’ for an arranged marriage.
Ah! Having said that I’ll like to draw your attention to this marriage institution where, whether you believe it or not, in today’s scenario our “arranged marriages” have become a mutual compromise which a family makes to hopefully guarantee the best for their kids wherein a lot of issues needs to be balanced. The male would get a chance to get a dowry (oh no….gifts only), demand a working lady who can cook good food and take care of him well along with his family. Oops!! Is he asking for too much? Na na……He’s the ‘Mard ’ and would expect some decency from her wifey. If he cannot shift his city because of his career, so be it!! Why is it important for her to earn. She can always beg from him. Oh, and in-spite of ample career opportunities in different cities where he can easily move, he’d like to stick to the one he’s been in for years….You see change is so difficult…..he won’t be able to handle it! Oh lo………he also has a problem with your education….His ego would hurt if you have better degrees than him. Well, I know I have better degrees than him and am smarter any day!! So……? Be happy that you are getting a smarter wife and not crib through day on self pity you……………………..( well fill in the blanks friends).
When we try to manage the guys ego, we falter on a good career growth. When we try to manage a guy’s location preference, our convenience is hardly spared a thought and in 99% of the arranged marriage cases, the guys would want to show their “mardaangi” by showing you how many compromises he can make you accept under the scrutiny of societal norms.
It has been more than 2 years for me looking for a match I feel would survive the test of time and having seen numerous “ rishtas” realized that all the education you get since childhood on making your worth and identity felt in the world becomes meaningless when you need to leave your identity behind to understand , nurture and live with someone you never knew. The idea of unconditional love to this person makes my heart cry aloud. How does a society expects me to shed my inhibitions “one fine day” wherein I have been taught otherwise 25 long years!!
The flawed system claims to have adjusted a lot over the years for a new generation but am sure, we have to go a long way to make this institution more acceptable for the generations to come with drastic changes…What do you say friends??